What a way to end.

I have two classes left. Two. That's three hours. Less than that, actually. I find that ridiculous. What a way to end the year. . .

This is tough. This is really tough. The one teacher I've felt the most for is going through a lot of health problems. Normally, I could deal. I could pray, hope, understand, etc. But I can't. My grandma is fucking dying, and I just can't take it. Two people I care about, or at least two people who people who are very dear to me care about, are suffering and it seems impossible that my life is starting like this. My real life.

There's no point in despairing, however. That will not accomplish anything. I think all we can do is link arms and hope.

I love a few people more than I ever saw myself loving. These people are a very small minority, and it's a miracle that I even feel this way. I have so much trouble trusting others, letting myself really know them, yet these people have let it happen. Thank you. Thank you for letting me share my life with you. It doesn't end here.

Dear Anon,

This is directed to ten people I know.

1. What happened? We used to be so happy together, and now I can't stand you. I hope you stop being so. . . mean.

2. We started to have something, but I forgot about you, or you forgot about me. . . perhaps it was mutual. Either way, you're a great person and I wish you the best.

3. I wish you knew just how much I fucking appreciate you. The amount of love and care I've come to have for you surprises me. You're a great friend, I just wish we could have been closer sooner, and I hope that we continue to become better friends.

4. You're one of the most unique people I know, and I admire you're individuality, despite that sometimes you're an ass hole.

5. You go between two personalities, and it's so confusing. I don't know if I should trust you.

6. I love you so much. Thank you for everything.

7. I am so glad I'm getting to know you. I think you've been misjudged and we become better friends.

8. Wow. I can't believe you're hardly in my life anymore. I would have never guess that we ended this far apart from each other.

9. You've always seemed nice, but I just never knew you. I wish I had.

10. I really like you. You're a fun person who is set in their moral beliefs, and will stick to them. I admire you.

Blast from da PAST.

Here is what my diary looked like ages 7-10, spelling, grammar and all. Anything in italics is 17-year-old Christine commentating.

Dear Direy

Maxine is funny. (The following is crossed out:) Yup, she is, but sometimes she gets tooo mad. She wrote about getting mad in ZOO.

3-3-98
Dear Direy

Shereen is cool, (crossed out, said "a not") and funny. + shes mean.

Shereen, is a tinager! (crossed out said, "wa." I imagine that I realized I had started to spell "whatever" incorrectly.) Whatever. She is very coooCOOl!

Maxine is (crossed out: dum) cool, and (crossed out, the beginnings of "dum" again!) nice.

Shereen *heart picture* Loves Dad! Maxine is cool!

This is when I was older:

Well I'm at the Airport waiting to go to India for a whole year. I hope I have a good time. I am going to miss everyone. Aunty Neng said I have a suprise for me in the Red roller. Well we are going to NY. Well it's 7:27 and I got to go. Aunty Neg just left. BEW!!
Bye.

December 28, 2001 - India, Mumbai

Right now I'm at the airport waiting for our flight. I am in Mumbai, India. We just went to this grreat Restraunt +[Buffut (misspellings of "special") specail]. (Wa wa wa, looks like I can't spell ANYWAY.) We had spaggetii for the first time; in a long time. We have been in India for 4 moths is crossed out months!, because we were going to live here but we is crossed out we sisters couldn't take it any longer!! + (we cannot find a good school). I am having spelling ("probla" is crossed out) problems because we paticually me [because I have not been (crossed out is "going to school") studying my book when people tell me to]!

(A few pages later is hand writing I had when I was young. Looks like I just picked a random spot to write. . .)

Dear Diary (Hey! I spelled it correctly!)

I am sorry mom.