Future

There are so many things to look forward to this year! I mean, I'm so thankful for all of them (I know, I'm sorta late...but thankfulness isn't what this post is about)!! Okay, here's just a list of holidays, events, and seasons that I'm excited for::::


Christmas
Advent
Band concert
Orchestra concert
Lend me a Tenor
Shereen coming home in 14 days
Winter Break
Going to the mall with the orchestra
Seeing said guy almost every day
Seeing family that I haven't seen in forever (some live far away, some are in Bhagdad...ya know)
Indian Food at Christmas Party (yes, that's an event if you've ever been to an Indian Christmas party lol)


Actually, I dunno if that's a lot. But that's all I can think of now. But you know what the one thing I need is? HIM! (Now figure out whether I'm talking about God, or the guy I like.)

Dang it? Hmm...

Okay, so you all know that I am completely into "this guy" who will now be referred to as, "B".
I hate this. Before my feelings were just like:

Awww! He's so cute! I love his hair! He can express himself, how awesome! Dude, I loooooove him. Heh, not really though. Hmm, I should marry him. I wonder what our kids would look like....hot, obviously. He's sooo good at everything! Yay!!

Now they've deepend. Well, they've been deeper for a while, but I've just realized it. Heh. I mean, I actually care. I know that sounds like any other feelings were superficial....but to be honest, they were. I mean, there wasn't really any substance, besides the horomones in my head telling me that I like him. I mean, NOW, I care, I care I care. About him, his family (even though I don't know them...hmm, maybe I'm a creeper), his problems. I always get this euphoric, but logical high when I'm around him. I feel sad when I leave him. But then, I tell myself, "Don't be stupid, you'll see him in a couple days, dorkess!" And then I go on with life! I mean, I care about him, and I've some how balanced it with the rest of the world. It's not like he means less, it just means that...I dunno...I'm being a bit more logical than I have in the past?
I've not only managed to control myself, and think, but that's happened as my feelings went way deep. Right now, since he doesn't like me, I don't want to flirt all over him and act all "Oh my gosh, can't you tell that I like you?!? *Girlish giggle*", because that would make him uncomfortable. And I know that if I were to be liked by someone, I wouldn't want them all over me, when I have stated that I don't like them.
And it makes me happy that we're friends...like always.
Love, Christine

P.S. HARRY POTTER IS THE BESTEST THING EVERRR! POOP!
P.P.S. The only thing that does suck is that I never like people who like me...oh well. Who knows what the future holds (hehe, optimism)? =)

Borderline

Is starting to scare me. I don't know how to act there, and if I be myself...I dunno. It's just weird. I mean, I feel like if you say the wrong thing, or if it's percieved the wrong way, then you get eaten for it. Yeah...I'm starting not to like it....:(

Pobrecito Juanito!!

Actually, there's really nothing to feel sorry for...I just love to say that! POBRECITO JUANITO!! You wouldn't get it....unless you already do. So yeah...I'm making no sense. This was a complete waste of a post. Pssh, like you can waste posts.

Sniff...

Okay. I guess I'm starting to care more than I want to. And it's making him feel bad, I think. His friend tried to hook me up, and I'm like, "Dude...he doesn't like ME!!" But he does it anyway, but...since I already know that he doesn't like me, it was practically like rubbing it in. *TEAR* That really does make me sad.