Porn

I hate porn. I can't look at it anymore. It makes me totally sick.
Firstly, I can't get off to it anymore. Okay, naked people having sex, big whoop. It's kind of stupid and boring and I honestly don't understand how I ever found it hot. Secondly, why would I look at it, if my imagination can run wild with Ian? Looking at porn is essentially like saying that my mind's endless options are not enough. Thirdly, it objectifies people. It turns real human beings and turns them into tools to help along an orgasm. If I don't objectify them (which I always do), then I'm recognizing that they're a real person, which is pretty much cheating in my book.

It's the same with fantasizing with people other than Ian. Why on earth would I fantasize about *insert mega hot person* if I have Ian? It just doesn't make sense anymore. I don't think it ever did. I was just stupider. Actually, no. I have never fantasized about other people, and that is NOT a lie.
Don't get me wrong. I don't think porn is bad. I don't think masturbation is bad. I just don't like looking at it while I'm in a relationship. It feels like I'm saying, "Yeah, Ian. You're totally sexy. But...thinking of you is not enough, so I'm going to go look at Candi* online..." I'm not sure if I make sense. Whatever.


*Random porn name

The year is closing...

Holy shit. It's like the end of the roller coaster you decided to go on, even though it looked way too scary, but you did it anyway...? But after you're done, it feels like you've conquered something?

Yeah.

That's how I feel. Fuck you, junior year. I beat you. Hmf!!!


Summer, here I come. =)


/relief