THE blog

Spencer knows. And yes, all of you reading, Mr. Mystery Man is Spencer. And I am sure that I love Spencer. There. I said it. And he is so kind. And Elaine, thank you for telling him. I don't think I could have stood it any longer. It would have ended me in tears, after confessing...hehe. They are powerful words. They are. I feel like saying that over and over again. I was actually hoping he'd read my blog, so I wouldn't have to tell him myself. I am such a chicken! But i guess I have better things to worry about than me being shy. I almost told him. But I said it would end badly. Which it prolyl would since i sure as hell have no way with words.

Confused

Love. It's one of the most beautiful things on earth. It shares the spot of most important emotion, along with it's brother, hate. And I think it has taken over me. I know i know. Strong words, eh? I know what I am saying. This is not just a silly, girlish crush. I care about this person. His feelings, his opinions, almost anything that concerns him. Sometimes I can't fall asleep because I'm so concerned about the troubles in his life, or I'm just thinking about him. And he is so totally worth it (worth that much thought). He's smart, funny, thoughtful, and good-looking. Ok, he's not the hottest guy on earth, but seriously, I don't care. H e could be the fattest, ugliest guy on earth and I wouldn't care. And the good thing is, I'm friends with him. I'm not going to say how close, lest I give away anything. Right now I am at a loss for words. I even looked up the word "love" (courtesy of dictionary.com) to see if that was what I was feeling. I'm kind of scared. One of the most kind feelings on earth can do so much hurt. He's not single, and I don't know whether I should feel bad for you-know-whating him. I can't go one. Mr. Mystery Man, please forgive my love.