Wonder and realization

Wonder:
I've come to realize that I automatically expect that you don't care about me; that I'm the last of your priorities, that you'd much rather do something else, or chill with someone else. What brings this up, you ask?

Well, you know on Friday, how I called out to you, you "ignored" me (had headphones in, and didn't hear), and I thought you didn't care and didn't want to see me? Afterwards you were talking about how it made you sad that I automatically think you're just being an ass hole, or I'm not important, or whatever...and I started wondering. Why? Why do I feel that I'm not important to you? Why do I think that you'll have the most sociopathic (is that even a word...?) response? What could have happened that set things this way? When did this all come about? It wasn't always this way. I used to expect you to care for me, I'm your friggin' girlfriend!

Also, a half of me KNOWS you care. The logical side. Christine, think about how he responds when he sees you. It's not negative...he loves you, silly! And I KNOW that is the right answer, yet I fail to jump to that conclusion.

Realization:
See previous post.
Also, I have pretty low self-esteem (har har, what a surprise), and I put myself last. Why should anyone else do differently, eh?
I'm pretty sure when you combine those two, you get the answer.

Another project for me to work on!!! ^_^ Ian loves you!
(and by "you" I mean me. =P)