Calling you...

"Calling You"

There's something I can't quite explain
I'm so in love with you
You'll never take that away
And if I've said it a hundred times before
Expect a thousand more
You'll never take that away

So expect me to be
Calling you to see
If you're okay when I'm not around
Asking "if you love me"
I love the way you make it sound
Calling you to see
Do I try too hard to make you smile?
To make us smile

[Chorus]
I will keep calling you to see
If you're sleeping, are you dreaming
If you're dreaming, are you dreaming of me
I can't believe you actually picked me

I thought that the world had lost it's sway
It's so hard sometimes
Then I fell in love with you
Then came you
And you took that away
It's not so difficult
The world is not so difficult
You take away the old
Show me the new
And I feel like I can fly when I stand next to you
So while I'm on this phone
A hundred miles from home
I'll take the words you gave me and send them back to you

I only want to see
If you're okay when I'm not around
Asking "if you love me"
I love the way you make it sound
Calling you to see
Do I try too hard to make you smile?
To make us smile

[Chorus]

God...I really wished someone cared about me this much. I can relate to him so much...it's extremely shattering. I wish I could just have someone out there who would call me to say, 'I love you!' or just to make sure I'm okay. It's what I honestly need...I know I have Ian, don't get me wrong! I love him so much, and I'm extremely thankful he's there.
But he's not exactly the kind to just run up to me and hug me, or send me a text listing all the reasons he loves me; and to be honest, that's how I am. Just ask him. How many fucking emails have I sent with either just a leet heart or a simple, 'You're amazing'? I would never stop telling him that, and I never will...even if we do break up. Because I loved him platonically, prior to being "in love" with him. But anyways...
I just need someone to show me they love me that much...

Complain, complain, wah wah wah....

WARNING: the following post is pure whiny bitchy complaints. Some are not important, but some are very real.

1. I'm fucking cold.
2. My hair is all messed up (it's not perfect like it has been as of late)
3. I feel ugly
4. Actually, it's more like I don't feel sexy or attractive
5. I hate homework
6. I hate how Dolly! is going to make me stressed uberly
7. I hate how I don't get a single moment when something isn't bugging me
8. My head hurts
9. I want to talk to Ian on the phone...but I probably can't
10. I miss Shereen
11. I miss Chelsea
12. I hate that dance lessons have been making my legs hurt like hell
13. I hate that I have a 3.5 GP-fucking-A
14. I hate that I'm so whiny
15. I feel useless
16. I want to be alone with Ian, but STUPID school, and STUPID parents are never going to let that happen
17. I miss grandma...
18. I'm not as smart as I was as a child, compared to others
19. I can't read as fast as I could
20. I fuck everything up
21. I'm a no good piece of crap
22. I feel like crying, but my tear glands seem to be broken
23. What I need more than a good cry is a good cry on a good friend
24. I want people to show that they care about me, because I need constant reassurance
25. I hate life
26. I have no opinion
27. I'm not as cool as everyone else
28. I need someone I can depend on
29. I need someone who cares about me
30. I feel like I don't have the above two...
31. And now Carlina hates me

Dude, I can't even verbalize how shitty I'm feeling right now. I need a hug. And a shoulder to cry on. =(