Strings FTW!

I realize this is silly and immature, but I just couldn't help it...

Top 20 Reasons to Date a Strings Player:
20) We can go for hours at a time.
19) The bigger the instrument, the deeper it goes.
18) We always follow the stick.
17) For better sound, we point our f-holes towards the audience.
16) We can shift from position to position with ease.
15) We're good at making up our own fingerings.
14) We're careful with our instruments and we clean them after every use.
13) We can do it fast or slow.
12) When we play, we can be loud or soft.
11) We love to vibrato whenever we have a chance.
10) We like to play in groups of four or more.
9) We can do it sitting or standing.
8) The first violin players always have to lead.
7) But the seconds are always willing to follow.
6) If we make a mistake, we do it over again for perfection.
5) We are always ready to play in any position.
4) We pay close attention to fingerings and accidentals.
3) We can improvise in any situation.
2) We always have at least one G string.
1) Unlike those band nerds, we're good at more than just blowing.

Realization

I need to figure out that people don't bite your head off if you talk to them. Seriously, I went to the elowel meetup yesterday, and the ENTIRE TIME, I either hid behind Ian or just isolated myself with him and Maxine...and Pocahontas for a while, too.
I don't even know why I'm like this. I'll see someone, and automatically avoid contact. Seriously, the only way I meet people, is through other people. I think there's only been two people (some random Mexican girl and Nick Woods...and she came up to me!) in my life who I've known first. Okay, I'm going through a list of friends:

-Elaine: Maxine
-Olivia: Elaine
-Layla: Olivia and Elaine
-Nick B.: Spencer
-Spencer: Nick Woods
-Ian: Nick Bayhi
-Lacey: Elaine
-Lisette: Elaine

Okay, I know everyone through Elaine...or something like that. Anyway, I need to open up or something. But it's really, really, really difficult.

...

I miss Ian. And I feel like a minimalist right now...so yeah. ='(

J'adore Ian.

C'est vrai.

Disagree without being disagreeable...

...I find this to be one of the most amazing concepts. If I could even begin to describe how great things would be if the people of this world could just learn to do this, I would, but I can't. At least I can't still try.
One of the most self-defeating things people can do - yes, I am at fault here as well - is being too sensitive. Too many times have I seen someone say something contradictory to a fellow being, because they thought that the comment was directed at them. The fact of the matter is, and I know this sounds mean, you're not that important. When someone says something like, "I'm so glad I don't have to go to Church anymore!" they are NOT saying, "Church is stupid, no one should go to it. You're an idiot. Stop going to Church." It's just their opinion. Opinions, frankly, don't mean a thing. They're purely how someone thinks.
The problem comes when they try to enforce that opinion on you. This is when you become disagreeable. To be able to voice your opinion, speak your mind, and show people what you believe in is great. But when you let that affect how you treat people, that's where the turmoil begins. If you go up to someone and say, "Get away from me. You're gay...just go over there or something," OR "You shouldn't stop praying to your false God, he doesn't give a shit about you," that's just wrong.

Imagine a world where people were able to express themselves without shooting eachother down, or being shot down. Imagine a place where you could hear someone disagree with you, sing your own little tune, and go on without getting into a self-defeating argument. Those arguments singularilty lead to hurt feelings, or those of resentment. Now, I'm NOT, by any means, saying to stop debating. I'm simply saying that people should be more considerate.

God, I'm such an idealist...

O Happy Dagger!

Sometimes, I feel like a dramaqueen. I hate that, because I despise dramaqueens. I feel like I only want the attention on myself. I feel like that if no one is listening to me, no one cares. And to listen, I have to talk. I don't know whether I'm imagining things or if I'm really like this. And what's weird, is that I hate talking about myself or things going on in my life. I love listening to other people talk about their secret crushes, or devastating problems and making people happy. But if I'm constantly saying, "I love Juanito! Yay!" or "Oh my gosh! I hate --fill in the blank--! It's so annoying! ARGH!" when can I ever listen?
I feel like I exaggerate things to the point where I can see a crown atop my head, with flashing read lights reading "DRAMA!"
Hm, maybe I'm imagining things. Maybe I'm being one RIGHT NOW. Maybe I'm just stupid. Either way, tell me the way it really is.

Am I dreaming?!

Okay...I'm scared that I'm getting my hopes too high. Steve (who can be slightly annoying, but mostly happy ^_^) said he forced Ian to talk about why he wouldn't ask me out. And you know what he said? He said that he was:

a. Scared (of course)
b. Didn't want to ask me out in a conformist fashion!

Silly Juan...

If you knew anything about this, tell me!

Love is a song that never ends...

I'm taking Elaine's lead, and fessin' up who the apple of my eye is. And he has been since the end of September. Well, here are some clues;

-He's spazzy
-He's taller than me
-He's...french-canadian
-His least favourite color is yellow
-He has a cat named after a composer
-He's ditched many relgions
-He's a dorkwad
-I love him to death

I think that last one is the most honest. I love him. Not like "in love", but he's just one of my best friends. I feel like I can talk to him about anything, and just be my totally completely self. But he's so wonderful. He...I can't even explain it.

When I see him, I have a rush of serotonin. He's like the safe drug. I feel at peace when I'm with him. I just love him so much. I want to be able to show him how much I care. I want to be able to look him in the eyes, and say, "I love you."

Sadly, he doesn't like me. He said I'm one of his best friends, but that's it. I'm happy with that. Of course I'd MUCH RATHER (much much much rather) go out with him, but just being able to spend time with him is awesome. I can't describe it. And it doesn't stop. Not only does it grow, it matures. So they get deeper as they become stronger. It's wonderful to love someone that much. I'd do anything for him. Anything.

P.S. I'm also taking Aubrey's lead...bonus points if you can catch the title's reference

P.P.S HARRY POTTER AND THE DEALTHLY HALLOWS COMES OUT JULY 21ST 2007.

Other people vs. Me

Okay, for a long time, I've been having a dispute with a friend about my qualities. I've been saying the honest truth - I'm worthless. He's been trying to convince me that I'm pretty and smart - which are flat out lies. My eyes are boring and disgusting, my hair is messed up, I'm fat, so there are no physical features about me that I appreciate. And smart? Ha! He is a billion times smarter and I have no idea what he's trying to pull, "You're smart."
So, I've decided to name fifteen people I know, and things that they have that are awesome (physical or not). Why? It proves that I'm horrible compared to them:

Elaine: compassionate
Ian: in-depth knowledge on...everything
Olivia: adorable
Aubrey: knows a lot about music
Sarah: good at different types of things (writing, game programming, photography)
Kathryn: super artistic
Spencer: beautiful writer...and has pretty eyes
Michelle: caring
Rachel: wonderful string player
Maxine: makes everything perfect
Shereen: able to see both sides of everything
Lacey K: really good at physics
Nick B: outgoing
Lisette: beautiful eye color!!
Parents: hard-working

I told you so. And for every good quality in them, I bet you could find three bad qualities in me. I bet my life. You can disagree, but I hold my place.

I love you

...more than ice cream pie and rainy skies.

HARRY POTTER AND THE DEATHLY HOLLOWS

THAT'S THE TITLE OF THE SEVENTH HARRY POTTER BOOK! OMG OMG!!! AAH! HE'S GOING TO DIE!!!

Future

There are so many things to look forward to this year! I mean, I'm so thankful for all of them (I know, I'm sorta late...but thankfulness isn't what this post is about)!! Okay, here's just a list of holidays, events, and seasons that I'm excited for::::


Christmas
Advent
Band concert
Orchestra concert
Lend me a Tenor
Shereen coming home in 14 days
Winter Break
Going to the mall with the orchestra
Seeing said guy almost every day
Seeing family that I haven't seen in forever (some live far away, some are in Bhagdad...ya know)
Indian Food at Christmas Party (yes, that's an event if you've ever been to an Indian Christmas party lol)


Actually, I dunno if that's a lot. But that's all I can think of now. But you know what the one thing I need is? HIM! (Now figure out whether I'm talking about God, or the guy I like.)

Dang it? Hmm...

Okay, so you all know that I am completely into "this guy" who will now be referred to as, "B".
I hate this. Before my feelings were just like:

Awww! He's so cute! I love his hair! He can express himself, how awesome! Dude, I loooooove him. Heh, not really though. Hmm, I should marry him. I wonder what our kids would look like....hot, obviously. He's sooo good at everything! Yay!!

Now they've deepend. Well, they've been deeper for a while, but I've just realized it. Heh. I mean, I actually care. I know that sounds like any other feelings were superficial....but to be honest, they were. I mean, there wasn't really any substance, besides the horomones in my head telling me that I like him. I mean, NOW, I care, I care I care. About him, his family (even though I don't know them...hmm, maybe I'm a creeper), his problems. I always get this euphoric, but logical high when I'm around him. I feel sad when I leave him. But then, I tell myself, "Don't be stupid, you'll see him in a couple days, dorkess!" And then I go on with life! I mean, I care about him, and I've some how balanced it with the rest of the world. It's not like he means less, it just means that...I dunno...I'm being a bit more logical than I have in the past?
I've not only managed to control myself, and think, but that's happened as my feelings went way deep. Right now, since he doesn't like me, I don't want to flirt all over him and act all "Oh my gosh, can't you tell that I like you?!? *Girlish giggle*", because that would make him uncomfortable. And I know that if I were to be liked by someone, I wouldn't want them all over me, when I have stated that I don't like them.
And it makes me happy that we're friends...like always.
Love, Christine

P.S. HARRY POTTER IS THE BESTEST THING EVERRR! POOP!
P.P.S. The only thing that does suck is that I never like people who like me...oh well. Who knows what the future holds (hehe, optimism)? =)

Borderline

Is starting to scare me. I don't know how to act there, and if I be myself...I dunno. It's just weird. I mean, I feel like if you say the wrong thing, or if it's percieved the wrong way, then you get eaten for it. Yeah...I'm starting not to like it....:(

Pobrecito Juanito!!

Actually, there's really nothing to feel sorry for...I just love to say that! POBRECITO JUANITO!! You wouldn't get it....unless you already do. So yeah...I'm making no sense. This was a complete waste of a post. Pssh, like you can waste posts.

Sniff...

Okay. I guess I'm starting to care more than I want to. And it's making him feel bad, I think. His friend tried to hook me up, and I'm like, "Dude...he doesn't like ME!!" But he does it anyway, but...since I already know that he doesn't like me, it was practically like rubbing it in. *TEAR* That really does make me sad.

"Love is when you miss him even before he's gone,
When you could listen to him talk all night
And never get tired of hearing his voice,
When the sound of his name sends chills down your spine,
And when you see his smile the second you close your eyes!"

- Adriene Auckerman -

OMFG...this has been happening to me!! Well, not every single second. at least the first four. I mean, I dunno if that's creepy, and I KNOW I'm not in love, but it's nice to feel that way. When you know that you're capable of caring enough for a person that they becomes more important to you thatn yourself. Then again, I've never had much self-worth, so I dunno if that's even a valid statement, but I know that I'm happy this way. What'd be better would be if we WENT OUT, but I'm pretty sure that won't happen. I want it to. Sooo bad. People I've told were like, "You'd be perfect!"

Apparently not. Well, in his mind. But I don't care! I like him so much that being friends is good. Heh, it's a nice feeling. Nicer would be if he liked me too and I could flirt without feeling intrusive. ^_^

Everything

Everything makes logical sense now. Screw one sentence posts:


Basically my life is totally good. Actually my sister just made me say "Time for some fellatio" to this guy...I SO DID NOT know what fellatio was till like ten seconds ago. Screw ignorance. Grrrr.

Nothing

makes logical sense like it used to.

Music.

It rocks.